You farted on four major authority figures.
You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.
You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.
You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.
You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.
You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.
You own all the weapons and costumes available in the game.
You've collected all of the available costumes.
You've spent $500.
You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.
You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.
You've farted on a dog while in gnome form.
You sold 300 junk items.
You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.
You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.
You completed the game without selling any items.
You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise.
Everyone in South Park is your friend.
While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.
You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.
You collected all of the Chinpokomon.
You befriended both crab people and gnomes.
You have collected half of the available costume sets.
You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.
You made friends with half of South Park.
You befriended your father.
You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.
You opened all of the garages in South Park.
You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.
You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.
You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.
Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.
You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.
In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.
You shat your pants during a boss battle.
You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.
You collected 15 Chinpokomon.
You've farted on animals 25 times.
You've farted on people 100 times.
You completed your first day in South Park.
You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.
You have joined the KKK.
You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.
Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.
Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.
You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.
You collected 5 Chinpokomon.
You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.
You've farted on every buddy in the game.
You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.
